I like the idea that there is someone out there that can and will look after me. Perhaps a little old fashion thinking on my part. I may often be perceived as independent but look one day for a partner that makes me feel safe and cherished. My father idolized my mother and loved her so fiercely, so it’s no surprise that I may want that for myself.  I am not sure that this is achievable, but I’ve built a life that can sustain my happiness by living in my independent world. Until that day, I will continue to look after myself and honour the things that I love.

I grew up with a large family, 5 kids in total.  Growing up with 3 brothers and a sister was a nice way to grow up.  My dad built us every year a skating rink, and with mom, we were able to put a full team on the ice.  My dad, from my recollection, enjoyed flooding the ice and making it as smooth as glass for our skating pleasure. Memories of fun times skating with my family brought so much joy.

Both parents have passed, and it’s a strange feeling not having your parent’s home to go to or a place where you feel your parent’s love no matter what.  The thought of never having the luxury of visiting my mom in a place that she loved being in and I loved going to is heartbreaking. But this is life, and we are forced to move on.

My brothers and I and their families had the most beautiful day the day before my mother’s service.  It was a beautiful day of sharing memories, some we remembered, and some stories were new to us.  It was a luxury to learn more about each other and celebrate the good times we had as a family. A day I will not ever forget.  I needed this, and we needed this.

Before that day, my brothers always held a warm space in my heart.  I remember as a young girl waiting for my brother Werner to come home from his late-night shift working at the bowling alley and wanting to tell him all about my day.  He always shared whatever snack he had and happily spent time with his sister, 9 years younger than him. I loved this time with him, and I hold this so tight in my memories and heart.  My brother Dave gave me the wonderful gift of inviting me into his family and sharing many great experiences.  He provided me honour of being a godmother to his firstborn and allowing me to be part of his family.  Not only do I have a bond with him, his kids, but his wife is like a sister to me.  Both brothers provided stability of love and thoughtfulness my entire life.  Whether we often spoke or not, I always felt loved and cherished. Just the way my dad treated my mother. And a place now that I feel loved no matter what.

Fast forward to today, having lived in Calgary, now away from my hometown for 22 years, I feel closer to my brothers than I ever had.  Technology has given us the gift of text, phone, and facetime whereby we can share our feelings, what projects we are working on, our thoughts, and sometimes our grief.  The connection that I have with my brothers is something that is pure gold to me.  We connect often, and this is one of the most important things in my life.  

My brothers are a gift and such a pleasure to have in my life.  Cherish your family and hold on to them tight.