Calgary is good, Calgary is great, when I decided to move, there was no debate
This city has my heart, there has been laughter and tears, this week is special, as it’s been twenty-two years
April 2, 2021 Banff, Alberta
22 years ago, on this weekend I moved to Calgary from my big hometown Toronto, Ontario. I traveled to Calgary for business and fell in love with the energy. And just like that I found myself moving away from everything I knew to explore all that is Calgary.
It wasn’t easy at first being away from my family and friends. Everything was so new, and it seemed at times I was drowning in all that was foreign to me. But I embraced all this western culture has to offer (even country music and two stepping) and grew with the ever-growing population which stands now at 1.5 million from 900K when I arrived.
The Alberta sunny skies brings me happiness. I made friends that are very dear to my heart. Professionally, I have grown and experienced all that makes work not a job but my life because I enjoy it so much.
Banff is in my backyard which I visit frequently. People travel from all over the world to seek the fresh mountain air and to experience this small town’s charm. To ski fresh powder with vista points that would bring most to their knees is what attracts travel enthusiasts. I traveled to Banff this week to get my fill of this wonder and again did not disappoint. The pandemic makes Banff seem different with all the mask wearing however the energy and splendour keeps it intact and keeps me craving for more.
In April 1999, as we drove into the city the weather was warm and tulips were sprouting from the dry Alberta soil. People were wearing shorts which is a common sight now that I’ve lived here for so long. In the first sign of nice weather Calgarians are not afraid to bring out their summer shorts and embrace the cool air and enjoy a cold pint on a patio. To this day though, tulips represents newness and the sign of good things to come. A friend of mine bought me tulips this week and I’m happy to say that I feel that there is newness in the air and still anticipating great things from myself and this city.
I applaud you Calgary as I celebrate 22 years in this city, I now call home.
Maria Maria is a song by Santana featuring The Product G&B recorded in 1999. It’s a great song, super catchy and Carlos Santana says “Maria Maria was and will always be that feel-good summer song that speaks to women.” Some of the lyrics read, “through the weather, and even when we are apart, it still feels like we’re together.”
As you read this, I’m sure you now have this song’s earworm that might stick with you all day. Like a good earworm, my best friend Maria sticks with me, not for a day but decade after decade. Maria is my best friend. We met around 1991 when we both worked for Coca-Cola in their Toronto head office. My time with Coca-Cola was a gateway for so many things. Learning, experiences, and lifetime friendships. One of the most valuable things that this time brought me is Maria Zitoli.
Maria is a beautiful person. She is intelligent, ambitious, a fabulous mom, and a wonderful friend. Maria learns continuously, but she didn’t have to get a degree in being a great human being. We have lived in different cities for 22 years, but our friendship grows and stays intact year after year. We have been there for each other through broken relationships, loss of loved ones but primarily through extraordinary times. We see each other several times a year when we can, but we stay connected weekly for the most part.
Think about 30 years! Our friendship has lasted longer than most marriages and jobs. Like any good long-term relationship, many strategies assist in keeping people together. Let’s discuss what has kept our friendship strong and successful.
Laugh a lot! Ensure to find joy in everything you do. Whether enjoying a glass of wine, food, or conversation, have fun and be present. So much happiness is found in these moments.
Try new things. We have traveled together and are always open to new experiences. We don’t take ourselves too seriously, so doing these things are just joyous moments, and we appreciate the time we get to spend with each other.
Show love always. Don’t hold back. There is never a time we hang up the phone or when in-person leave each other without saying “I LOVE YOU.”
Be yourself. Maria and I, even though we share the same name, are very different. We have always kept our individuality and enjoy the differences we bring to our relationship. We learn from one another and celebrate the individuals that we are.
Have open lines of communication. We just discussed this weekend that there is not much that we wouldn’t share. We can be vulnerable with one another, transparent and honest about everything. We always know where we stand.
We are generous with one another. Generous in the sense where we take the time to be there for each other. Whether it’s a minute to share something silly or hours to work through issues, thoughts, or share happy experiences. We always make time.
I take these learnings and apply them to all my relationships. I am lucky enough to have a lifetime of education in friendship and look forward to many years to come.
I celebrate Maria today, and as Carlos said about the song Maria Maria; it was and will always be that feel-good summer song that speaks to women.” Our friendship always feels like a feel-good summer and speaks to empowering women to be their best selves.
Through the weather, and even when we are apart, it still feels like we’re together.
I like the idea that there is someone out there that can and will look after me. Perhaps a little old fashion thinking on my part. I may often be perceived as independent but look one day for a partner that makes me feel safe and cherished. My father idolized my mother and loved her so fiercely, so it’s no surprise that I may want that for myself. I am not sure that this is achievable, but I’ve built a life that can sustain my happiness by living in my independent world. Until that day, I will continue to look after myself and honour the things that I love.
I grew up with a large family, 5 kids in total. Growing up with 3 brothers and a sister was a nice way to grow up. My dad built us every year a skating rink, and with mom, we were able to put a full team on the ice. My dad, from my recollection, enjoyed flooding the ice and making it as smooth as glass for our skating pleasure. Memories of fun times skating with my family brought so much joy.
Both parents have passed, and it’s a strange feeling not having your parent’s home to go to or a place where you feel your parent’s love no matter what. The thought of never having the luxury of visiting my mom in a place that she loved being in and I loved going to is heartbreaking. But this is life, and we are forced to move on.
My brothers and I and their families had the most beautiful day the day before my mother’s service. It was a beautiful day of sharing memories, some we remembered, and some stories were new to us. It was a luxury to learn more about each other and celebrate the good times we had as a family. A day I will not ever forget. I needed this, and we needed this.
Before that day, my brothers always held a warm space in my heart. I remember as a young girl waiting for my brother Werner to come home from his late-night shift working at the bowling alley and wanting to tell him all about my day. He always shared whatever snack he had and happily spent time with his sister, 9 years younger than him. I loved this time with him, and I hold this so tight in my memories and heart. My brother Dave gave me the wonderful gift of inviting me into his family and sharing many great experiences. He provided me honour of being a godmother to his firstborn and allowing me to be part of his family. Not only do I have a bond with him, his kids, but his wife is like a sister to me. Both brothers provided stability of love and thoughtfulness my entire life. Whether we often spoke or not, I always felt loved and cherished. Just the way my dad treated my mother. And a place now that I feel loved no matter what.
Fast forward to today, having lived in Calgary, now away from my hometown for 22 years, I feel closer to my brothers than I ever had. Technology has given us the gift of text, phone, and facetime whereby we can share our feelings, what projects we are working on, our thoughts, and sometimes our grief. The connection that I have with my brothers is something that is pure gold to me. We connect often, and this is one of the most important things in my life.
My brothers are a gift and such a pleasure to have in my life. Cherish your family and hold on to them tight.
Walking gives me so much joy. Most days, I walk alone. I walk with my favourite artists and singing along helps regulate my breathing when taking on a long and winding uphill path. I typically listen to the same songs on my walks. Music seems so personal when you are wearing headphones. There is something intimate about having music piped into your ears when no one else can hear what you are listening to. Music evokes so many emotions and can bring on old memories and also fuel our dreams for the future. I may listen to the same songs repeatedly, but I always hear something different every time: a cymbal, a simple nuance or perhaps understanding the lyrics just a little better.
It’s time for you, only you. Music is magic, but so is taking time for yourself.
As a side note, walking also does a body good!
While walking, I get to interact with people. I say hello to everyone I run into. I enjoy watching all the dogs enjoying time with their people. I like dogs, and I like people. I like smiling while walking and watching the reaction I get from my fellow outdoor enthusiasts. Smiling is such an international way of communicating that we are all here on earth and stating that we are all in this together. In good times, pandemic times and perhaps hard times, we are all united somehow with one another, and a kind smile can make a difference in someone’s life at that moment. Being kind is contagious. It warms the soul when people exchange a sincere smile, eye contact or a wave. Never take that for granted. I am challenged now when indoors and wearing a mask. It’s tough to see that smile, so outdoors give us the luxury back. Able to see people unmasked. I enjoy the freedom to chat without being muffled, seeing a lovely toothy grin and enjoy seeing a breathy hello. We do not see them anymore when indoors sporting a mask. Do not get me wrong; I don’t have any issue wearing a mask to do my part in flattening the curve, but I miss people’s full faces. Going on walks gives this back to me.
Now that fall has just arrived, I enjoy watching the beautiful colours that this season graces us with. The weather is still warm, but we have front row seats to mother nature working her magic. Many times this month I have had the wonderful experiences of having the warm wind caress my body, reminding me that I am alive. Alive with all the possibilities that life has to offer. Friendships, work opportunities, moments of pure joy and laughter. I have spent this trying time living alone. I am fully aware of the impact this mandated time alone has on our mental health and overall wellness. I was impacted by fear, financial implications of being laid off for some time, even loneliness, but forcing a walk every day made me incredibly happy. Exercise tends to increase endorphins, therefore elevating moods. As I do my gratitude exercises daily, I am grateful for the limbs that carry me and go on my merry walking way. As I interact with nature, people, pets, music and my inner well-being, I am happy to be alive.
Photo Credit: Maria Martiniello
Presently, as the days shorten, I now get to appreciate the sun as it sets earlier.
The pink sky, fluffy clouds and the sun settings are so dreamy. That warm late summer breeze does stand out, and I enjoy how it makes me feel. When I share my thoughts on this matter with my friend Doug Wagner he reminds me that walking as the sun sets creates less stimulation visually, so senses shift into high gear. Touch, scents and sounds come to the forefront and take over, making a whole new experience on my walks. Reminding that there is something new to experience every day.
I wish you all the blessings every day, and please enjoy all the moments in your life.
As featured as a guest writer at https://www.vagabondwellness.ca. At Vagabond Wellness we truly honour the mind-body experience. We understand that the mind and body work as one functioning unit and the health of one affects the other.
I have learned recently to just be. It’s not as easy as one would expect, and for some reason, we don’t make time in our day to enjoy this indulgence. We live in a chaotic world surrounded by technology lending to the expectancy of immediate response day and night.
When you left work for the day you went home, I remember a time in my life, had dinner, worked out, and spent time with your family with no personal devices. At that time, (I’m dating myself), not everyone had a cell phone. We also didn’t have laptops and left our P.C.’s on our desk in the office. When we went home, we didn’t revisit work, check Facebook every half hour, play candy crush, etc. Imagine that!
Today, I would not dare leave my house without my laptop, iPhone, and I often bring along my iPad. I read recently that the average person unlocks their iPhone 80 times a day. That’s once every 12 minutes for 16 hours every day. Admit it if you will you are also watching a few screens at once. As I’m writing this, I have the T.V. on, typing on my computer and checking my iPhone periodically for text messages. I feel embarrassed admitting that I’m doing that at this moment.
In my training as a life coach, I remember studying the main subject early on in my courses that focused on listening. I laughed out loud, thinking who doesn’t know how to listen. As we got more in-depth into the subject matter, I started thinking about how easy it is not to listen. That same day, I was with a friend of mine, and I was caught up in my thoughts and found myself thinking about what to make for dinner that night and what I needed to pick up from the grocery store. It’s not that I didn’t want to hear what was being shared with me. However, I was trying to manage my day in my head and not giving my entire self to this person. I have to say that in my lifetime, that was one of my most significant aha moments. We miss so much by not listening.
Ask yourself, by not listening or being distracted by the number of times a day we unlock our devices each day, what are we missing? Could we be missing a cry for help from a child who is hurt or wants to share something with us? Are we missing an opportunity to hear birds chirping in the morning and acknowledging that we have our hearing and not take that for granted?
Are we losing precious moments when not hearing our parents tell us stories of old that we might never hear again? I recently lost my mother and believe me; you likely don’t want to miss out on listening to your mom’s voice again.
This segues beautifully into gratitude. By consciously practicing gratitude, we can train the brain to attend selectively to positive emotions and thoughts, thus reducing anxiety and feelings of apprehension. The simple act of reminding yourself of the positive things in your life – even as simple as the roof over your head or food on your plate – can invoke feelings of thankfulness and optimism that make managing stress, depression or anxiety easier (https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/). I believe this wholeheartedly and very grateful for my vision, hearing, being able to get out of bed using my limbs, and happy to have loving and supportive people in my life. I do this every morning and could spend ALL day finding things to be grateful for. It sets the tone for the entire day. These days I add into my practice that I am thankful for the time that I spent with my mom rather than the time that I will never have with her again. It changes the narrative.
To exercise gratitude, we need to know how to be still as we focus on this practice. What does it even really mean? I’m guessing it means something different for everyone, but to me, it means breathing. Sounds silly, however, when you focus on breathing and manage your breath, you become still. Still enough to focus on what’s important. You are essential, and resting your brain is just as important. A by-product of being still is that your brain is resting, and while resting, you become creative. The experience of having the mind slightly relaxed allows it to explore different combinations of ideas, to test out different solutions (https://blog.rescuetime.com/deliberate-rest/). These are all great things.
I encourage you to try at least one or all of the following items each and every day.
Take a break and shut down your electronic devices to allow some pause in your day.
Breath – manage your breathing and taking a moment in this space encourages and supports stillness.
Allow your mind to rest as it inspires creativity and problem-solving.
Be grateful – it’s vital to a healthy state of mind.
Just be
Treat yourself well for one minute or many throughout the day – YOU are important.
It’s been two weeks since my mom passed. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster. I’m sad, tired and even a bit angry but having spent some time with my brothers and their families it had me laughing, smiling and happy crying.
When you lose someone, it tends to make us reflect on what’s important and how you might leave a mark in this world or wonder if that matters. The crazy thing about losing someone is the pure fact that one day that person is here in the flesh, then poof, gone. Memories are everlasting, and we should hang on to them as one can vanish from your life in a blink of an eye. We lose people every day not only to death but through divorce or breakups, friendships that end, colleagues changing jobs, people moving away or perhaps some even running away. Either way, people come and go, but what is ongoing is how they make you feel or maybe something they may have taught you. Something that you can pass along to another for a moment or a lifetime.
One of my mother’s favourite phrases was “nothing you can do.” She was on to something by teaching me perhaps of letting things go that you can’t change. No need to worry about things you have no control over. I will remind myself often to just be. I could just be with my mother, and when I was, I often felt ‘normal’. Normal in the sense that being in one’s presence who loves you unconditionally reminds you that nothing else does matters. Not what car you drive, or how big your house is, how much pressure you feel at work or who’s doing what on social media. None of that matters. What matters is feeling loved and loving another without even saying a word. This is what leaves a mark on lives!
I loved being at my mom’s house and taking a nap. It was the best feeling even as a full-grown adult. If I dozed off while my mom was crocheting or watching TV, it made me feel safe and at home. As parents age, we sometimes wonder who is taking care of whom, but mom’s look after you. Moms try to look after your heart, and you can tell how they feel in their warm smiles, kind eyes or just a little hug that says so much but with few words. It came to me recently how much a hug can do for someone. It makes you feel safe and protected. There is no denying that feeling of warmth and caring.
A simple hug can put the normal back in your day. A good snugglefest with someone can ease your heart’s pain if it’s only for just one second. Like a mother’s love, there are no words required. Like the feeling of dozing off on your mother’s couch, a warm hug cloaks you from the discomfort we sometimes get from this world. Hugs are healing.
In today’s COVID space, hugs are no longer a safe practise with some, but I’ve come to realize how robbed we are of this comfort and how much as humans we need this physical contact.
Find someone in your bubble that you can hug or touch. Spend time with your parents and loved ones. Remember that you can make a difference in someone’s day by making them feel normal or special. Embrace being hugged when you can and let it linger. Then hug and embrace your day with a little more fervor and positivity.
I am doing my part in staying home to fight this crazy pandemic so affectionally known as COVID-19. We are living in a nutty world right now, and I choose to listen to doctors to flatten the curve. It’s all I know what to do right now. I was laid off from an industry that I love and went from running at 150 miles an hour to a screeching halt. All this comes with some fluctuating thoughts and emotions. I’m sure all of us are feeling that in one way or another.
Yesterday I did something that I genuinely love. I went grocery shopping. I wanted fresh vegetables and meat, so I decided to venture out and pick up the essentials, which included some Rose. I was excited enough to put on a bra and brush my hair. I didn’t bother with make-up, but I put on a coat of glossy lip gloss and off I went. I was kind of excited.
The CO-OP in Rockyridge is so prepared. They offer hand sanitizer on the way in and wipe down your cart. I felt safe and looked after. I checked my list and started on my journey. I did notice that there were a ton of items marked two for one, which was a pleasant surprise. I did buy two for one except for toilet paper because there still was none to be had. That’s OK because I have some.
What I did realize was the energy in the store. It was morose. It lacked in any sense of hope or light. People were just on a mission to get what they need and get out. I suppose that is the correct action. However, it left me feeling very lonely and deflated. I am sure every one of us is feeling this exact way. I decided to venture into the liquor store as I was convinced that I was going to feel different (by the way, I love both the grocery and liquor store shopping). The liquor store turned out to be the same dire experience.
I went straight home and could not shake this feeling of isolation and loneliness. Most of you that know me know that I am super positive and optimistic most of the time. Thankfully my brother Dave reached out to me last night to see if I was OK, and all I could be was honest. I cooked a delicious meal with the coaching of another friend that helped with some cooking techniques, so I should have been all sorted out. Except I wasn’t. And that’s OK!
Bubbles for the win!
I decided bed was the best idea for me but woke up this morning feeling quite the same. I chose not to watch the news and work on my computer. Being productive does have a way of making me feel better. I was on a Zoom call, and my phone started buzzing. It was my mother calling through on her first facetime call.
I WAS SCREAMING! I WAS SO HAPPY!
My mom lives in Ontario and doesn’t have a technology-savvy bone in her 82-year-old body. I didn’t realize that I was not muted on the Zoom call until my friend Julia texted me asking me to do so. Oh, oh! Ha Ha! She muted my line, but I was so happy to see my mom’s face today. I appreciate my twin sister so much for setting up my mother on an old iPad. Louise, from a distance, showed my mother how to answer and facilitate a call from her iPad.
My Lovely Mother Maria!
But then this happened.
I decided to keep working after a yummy lunch, and I noticed that I missed a call. I dialled the missed number, and it was a lady by the name of Cindy Good. Cindy and I are friends, and she asked me what I was doing. I told her I was working on a few things. Noted below is how the rest of the conversation went.
Cindy: What are you doing?
Maria: I’m doing some work.
Cindy: Do you have a new shelf beside your desk?
Maria: Yes, I do (looking around wondering how she knew that)
Cindy: Do you have a doll near your window? (now I’m freaking out thinking I left a zoom call on or someone had access to the camera on my computer)
Maria: No, I don’t have any dolls!
Cindy: Are you sure? Look left!
Maria: I look out my front window, and Cindy is waving to me from her car (the doll was a Buddha statue on my windowsill)
Cindy: Starts laughing
Maria: Screaming jumping up and down of laughter and happiness
WHAT A JOY!
WHAT A SURPRISE!
WHAT HAPPINESS THIS BEAUTIFUL GESTURE BROUGHT TO MY LIFE!
My spirits were lifted.
I felt so much love! I needed this.
First, I saw my mother’s beautiful, safe face on a facetime call. Then, not only did Cindy surprise me with her infectious greatness, but she brought gifts. A beautiful bottle of Cotes De Rhone and some Easter chocolates. I am so blessed.
Do you know the feeling when you can’t get enough of something you’ve wanted for a long time? You love the way it made you feel, and you can’t get enough
I felt all those things this week, and I couldn’t be happier!
All three times, I was filled with joy, and I cried. I felt something different each time. And all times, I wanted more.
I speak of course of my trip to Japan to visit my niece and to watch her perform her aerial art in a highly renowned show in an extraordinary place.
Having planned a trip to visit the lovely Erica and spend time with her to explore Japan was exciting in itself. Knowing that I was going to witness her profession after years and years of training was a bonus.
For most of you that have kids, I’m sure you get to witness the beauty of watching your children grow and become amazing adults who realize their dreams every day. I can’t speak to that personally, but being an aunt is likely one of the best things in my life. Watching all of my nieces and nephews grow into adults has been for the greatest joy. Although I live far away from these beautiful people, they are so close to my heart, and I’ve watched them grow every second of their lives.
This week was so special realizing how far my niece has come. I knew I was in for something unique, but without seeing it with my own eyes, I would not have believed what I saw.
As I walked into Erica’s workplace, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was trying not to cry (of course, it happened), recognizing that I travelled so far to see such beauty and talent.
People came from around the world to see this performance. Young and old line up in anticipation of this show. The suspense was killing me. Finally, we were able to sit in our seats. I got the second-row center stage. The Japanese people are so polite and respectful. It’s one of the things I admire most about this beautiful country. Everyone files into the theatre in a calm and orderly fashion. Lights went out, and I was sobbing uncontrollably. I was trying to distract my emotions with other thoughts and then decided to feel it and embrace it.
As tears were streaming down my face, the music started. In flys, this lovely, talented woman held only by cables and dancing through the air like an angel with the most grace I’ve ever seen and entertained the audience with her vibrancy acknowledging the crowd with waves and the best smile. Capturing hearts and leaving lasting memories of the crowd that represented all different demographics.
I planned this trip 180 days ago and anticipated this moment for half a year. I loved how the anticipation of this special event changed my life in such a positive manner. I couldn’t get enough. There were two more performances, and I had to keep coming back. I wasn’t going to miss a moment. I felt something different each time. I felt extreme pride watching this beauty who perfected her practice and gave her all in each performance. I was bewildered on how this petit frame could manifest herself into such a presence. An accomplished gymnast and dancer with her pure athleticism was a sight to be seen. Her ability to lip-sync in Japanese was incomprehensible. Such dedication and focus got her to this point. Travelled afar to grow into herself and the beautiful women that she has become.
This country has, in my short time, affected me in a way I can’t describe. My senses are heightened. I feel so in the moment. I can smell the fragrance of the flowers that still grow in this winter season. I see everything, exploring all things beautiful and being my true authentic self. Travel brings magic into our lives. I know it does mine for sure.
Going back to my second viewing of Erica’s performance, I decided to get my feelings in check. I sat in a different seat. I saw different things every time, but each time I watched the audience. More and more faces lit up when they saw Erica, singing along with the music, clapping and waving. Evoking emotions of the child within. I went for the third time, and it was just as satisfying as the time before.
I enjoyed my three-time experience that day.
I am the most satisfied living my best life and witnessing such amazing things with the most incredible people.
Take a moment today to reflect on what’s important to you. Breath and take some time to be grateful for the blessings that you have. I woke up! I’m safe and warm! I have food in my belly! I have amazing friends and all the support I desire! I have everything I could possibly need to make a difference in my or someone’s life! I can make change! And I will!
Photo Credit: Armand Flores @ ProfolioPhotography
Be Willing!
This week would have been my parent’s wedding anniversary. I reflect on what their marriage meant to me and the type of people they are. My dad is no longer with us but I speak often on the influence my dad had on my life. One major thing my dad taught me was to work hard and have pride in your work. I recently changed jobs and when you start a new role you work your ass off getting settled in, finding your way in order to make a difference and to have pride in your work. My dad had great work ethic.
I share this story!
My father was the hardest worker that I’ve ever met. My parents moved to Canada not knowing the language and had little money. They had five kids and my dad being an immigrant didn’t have many opportunities for high paying jobs. But what my dad had was the willingness and the drive to do great work.
To make ends meet my dad worked three jobs for most of his life to keep us warm, happy and food in our bellies. He was driven to do his best job at whatever he did whether working as a mechanic and cleaning bowling alleys or managing a building as a superintendent – he was driven to do his best and he gave his best in everything that he did. He would never ask anyone to do something that he wouldn’t do himself. Hard work will take you far! It is so rewarding when you work hard, and it pays off.
Be inspired by people who have great work ethic!
You Can’t Fake It!
Well, you can fake it, but you’d be cheating yourself. When we fake things it’s because we don’t want to admit that we are not quite there or trying to please someone. When we fake it typically it’s because we don’t want to own where we are and what we are doing.
Barbara Corcoran says, “you can’t fake passion” and I totally agree. What’s your passion? Passion drives us to do things we typically wouldn’t do and have fun doing it. It gets us out of bed in the morning and keeps us up at night. Passion is defined as a strong and barely controllable emotion. Out of all the emotions, this is a good one to have.
I know someone that has that great passion. Her passion is painting. Her passion is so strong that she had the guts to make all the changes in her life to follow what she loves. This delightful person is Allyson Thain. Allyson (Ally) says “since hanging my first abstract painting of the South Saskatchewan River at age 5 in my parents’ living room gallery, I have never stopped creating. I have worked with many different art forms and mediums over the years – drawing, papermaking, bookbinding, lampworking and watercolours –and I always return to painting abstracts with acrylics”.
Now let’s talk bravery. Ally is so passionate about painting that she left her job in finance to pursue her painting full time. Ally has participated in a number of art shows, painting wine nights and frequently does team builders for corporate events.
Ally’s team builders are super exciting. She has a wonderful offer called IntoxiArt!
IntoxiArt is a new team building experience that allows your group to relax, be creative and have fun. Your team will try out a trendy new art technique that uses alcohol inks which result in beautiful pieces even for those who aren’t artistically inclined.
Art engages your brain in a different way and, allows us to slow down and release stress. The IntoxiArt team will come right to your venue and provide all the materials, set-up and clean-up so you and your team can enjoy your experience and leave with original artwork. Add adult beverages and you’ve got yourself a wonderful event where guests can take home beautiful pieces of art. Look at mine! My artwork is actually at my front entrance in my home. I love them.
I PAINTED THESE! I LOVE THEM!
Look at these awesome testimonials. “Allyson lead an alcohol ink painting event for 40 of my colleagues. She made the planning process very smooth. During the event, she demonstrated a variety of techniques, and then set us loose to paint while she walked around and offered encouragement and assistance. She managed our group size very well. She provided a good variety of paint colours and materials, as well as extra paper to those who painted fast. Since there weren’t set painting steps to follow, we all went home with different paintings and could chat, eat appetizers, and drink easily during the event. Overall, it was a successful team-building event and I would definitely recommend Allyson to anyone looking for a unique creative event lead by a friendly and skilled artist!” -Ashley P.
“I think you may be a natural, when it comes to your classes. You love the subject and just want people to love it like you do with no judgement, sounds like a perfect recipe”
Be an ALLY! Follow your passion. Be Brave!
If you’re interested a fun and exciting team building experience for your next event, click here!
Maria Martiniello ~ Be mindful. Be motivated. Be memorable
Zoo to New 2.0
I’ve been part of a zoo for 4 years. I worked for a conservation organization that maintains a collection of animals surrounded by beautiful gardens for study and preservation of endangered species and conservation. I learned so much about the amazing efforts that are required to ensure that we don’t lose precious species that will affect species survival now and in the future. I have made amazing friends and learned so much. I’ve been able to build many relationships internally and externally. And most importantly I have grown so much. The Calgary Zoo has allowed me to lead a spectacular group of amazing people and feel we have a bond that will be ongoing for years to come.
With this, I also became more self-aware. Aware of when to say when and make important decisions about my career. Since turning fifty I have become more mindful of what I want, what I would like to accomplish and how I should pursue my career. I recently accepted a position that will allow me to create and execute business development and event sales strategies for Flores & Pine that will focus on customer acquisition, brand awareness and market recognition. Flores and Pine is a new restaurant and event space in a familiar location in NW Calgary (previously the Bear’s Den). This space draws on the heritage of this rural location to offer sophisticated comfortable dining opportunities and creating amazing exceptional events.
With spring fast approaching this season signifies revitalization and the promise of growth. Just as we know that mother nature will promise us beauty in our landscape the people I surround myself with serves the same purpose. In making my decision to move on the wonderful people in my life that I love and cherish support me unconditionally. Faith is a wonderful thing and when people encourage you and your decision it makes for an easy transition. Change is scary however change is exciting when people move forward with you.
The universe provides us with what we need when we are open to receive and the people who grow with you are co-pilots and champions on this journey. It’s wonderful how an introduction that intuitively makes sense to your co-pilot can change your direction in the most positive way in a very short timeline. In this instance my co-pilot is Adrienne Buhr. This lady identified an opportunity and did not hesitate to put my name forward. Grateful I am to this wonderful person.
Next to your co-pilot, you need a champion that can look into the distance to see where you can be. I am fortunate that I have Armand Flores in my life that provides the opportunity to enhance my growth by being completely honest with me. This wonderful person supports my growth by seeing a vision for that I sometimes do not see myself. He sees me in the future and guides me toward a roadmap of where I can go. Maria 2.0 as he lovingly envisions helps me with my personal style and brand. This talented photographer of Profolio Photography and visionary captured me in a new light this week. Maria 2.0 is brought to you by amazing people that I love and love me. Keep your family close, your co-pilots in your cockpit and your champions in your inner circle. Remember to receive and reciprocate at all times. This is the recipe for success.
There are so many different ways to give. When we think of giving typically we look at a monetary exchange to help a foundation or charity to help others. There are so many other currencies in how we can give to one other. People need people. People need support. People need to be loved. People need to be heard. People need to be inspired.
In order to give you need to look after you before you can look after others. There is a reason that on flights when you are getting your safety chat in case of an emergency that you are asked to put on your oxygen mask first before your partner, kids, and seatmates. There is a reason for this. It’s to ensure that we are strong and able enough to look after others.
I took life coaching way back when. When reviewing the modules for the curriculum ‘listening’ was the first subject matter we discussed. I remember thinking what the heck are we learning here. I know how to listen. Well as it turns out I did not. I work at my craft of listening each and every day. I admit, I’m guilty of thinking about what’s for dinner, what’s on my agenda the next day, how much psoriasis is on my black sweater (lol)….. But to truly listen is a valuable skill not to be underestimated. It’s likely the most important gift that you can give anyone. Magic happens when you listen.
Time is another way of giving. We have all been in a place where we just need someone to be with us. Near to us. We all live in our own heads. We are so occupied with social media and the immediacy of the technology we carry around. We feel that we need to be responsive at all times and slaves to our iPhone, iPad, and computers. When was the last time you really looked at someone? Whether you are at a concert, watching a speaker, talking to your boss, your mom, friend … whomever? We are always eyes down on our phones and rarely in the moment. Waiting for the next message. What if the message was right in front of us? In the exchange of two people when you are in front of one another. Look people in the eyes, watch their body language, when you don’t understand ask what the person means or to explain further. We need people and this exchange.
I have been very independent my entire life. I used to think that it was a sign of weakness to openly talk about my problems or pompous to talk about my successes. I am always willing to help friends that need me. I want to help people but never let anyone help me. This changed recently. I met my new awesome friend Armand Flores from Profolio Photography. He knows me instinctively and he also believes in me. He believes in me so much that he wants to provide me with the tools I need to ensure my path is set up for success. He can provide some of this and does. This comes with no strings attached and I am happy to receive. We have mutual respect for one another and he shows me the value in his character and his art of photography. We share the same values and we will thrive and succeed together. Receiving is something that I can do today by way of generous people like Armand. Armand is selfless and his caring ways reminds me how important this is to life and survival. He shows me the value of his quality photos that help me with my brand & mission and is generous beyond belief. These are gifts in life that I can now receive. Armand’s strength really hits home for me. He has the strength and wisdom to put on his own oxygen mask then generously helps me with mine. Armand gives … and now I know how to receive. Enough said.
ETc.
Recently I let someone that I know give me an amateur tattoo (actually x 2). Why you might ask? I will get to that. But first I would like to share a few things.
Aidan and Kyra are delightful young people and the children of my best friend Adrienne Buhr. I feel privileged to be friends with both of Adrienne’s kids (she’s pretty spectacular herself). I spend quality time with both Aidan and Kyra. They teach me things and I have a role in their life to add value where and when I can. We spend holidays together, have great conversations and share lots of laughter. When I spend time with this family I feel accepted and we can be who we are with one another no matter what.
As I go through my journey in life I feel safe sharing my hopes and dreams with these great people. And I love watching all 3 of these wonderful humans travel through their own journeys. It’s so exciting for me.
This is my clan and brings me to my first new tattoo. For Christmas, each of us received a heart contained by the number 4. A symbol of our unity and friendship. I wear this tattoo as a symbol of a bond with a family that does not share the same blood. That tattoo credit goes to Kyra.
Aidan is a delightful young man and after a late night conversation about my aspirations he came up with ETC. with a small ‘c’. He felt that the small ‘c’ represented my growth and where I can go and that I still have miles left on my journey. Smart hey? My second newest tattoo designed and created by Aidan.
The definition of etc. in the dictionary is as such; used at the end of a list to indicate that further, similar items are included. How fitting in my opinion. Reminding me to keep on doing the same as I have but an indication that there is more to come.
Lessons I have learned from my young friends are this. Keep your hearts open and accept those that need a place to land and call them family. Respect those of all ages, they have the ability to teach you lessons in life that bring value. Trust yourself to love others freely. Support those around you and enjoy watching your family grow into amazing adults and remember to celebrate each other. My heart is full!
02/21/19 was an AMAZING day!
For years I’ve been wanting to do an official public speaking engagement. Thanks to Canadian Business Chicks and Women of Inspiration I was able to get this moment. The title of my speech was “Inspired” and the subject was leadership. Actually, a story on how I was inspired by others to become a leader.
Some of my key points were:
Leadership is a responsibility to ensure that we look after one another
People respond to the environment that they are in. If we are always learning, encouraged, acting in a positive way and are driven like the leaders that mentored me and we do it consistently – how can we fail? We can’t!
We need to look after one another and have fun doing it
I’ve seen results – I’ve seen happy people that enjoy their jobs and we win together
Lead with purpose, lead by example, learn from your experiences and others. Treat your teams with respect and encourage them. And most importantly leaders shouldn’t always lead – they also need to know when to be led by the empowered and strong teams that they’ve built.
So many of my friends came out to support me and when someone asked me how it went the only way I could respond was “today was one of the best days of my life”! These pictures say it all! A big thank you to Armand Flores from Profolio Photography for these amazing pictures!
And a huge shout out to the Calgary Zoo for their awesome venue!
Pay attention …
Pay Attention …
My Preference is on Top
Why does being on top make me happy?
It’s about taking control and maneuvering my way to happiness. Happiness is different for everyone and only you can identify and measure it. Happiness doesn’t always mean bringing me to ecstasy rather it’s enjoying the slow and steady ride.
My roadmap to happiness was to identify what it is I want, envision it, feel it and recognize when I get there. It is only of recent that I am truly understanding and receiving the benefit of this new found discovery. I’ve read many self-help books and gone through life coaching training but I was still searching for something.
My journey thus far has been confused by overthinking and searching for something that I always possessed but overlooked. I needed to understand and focus on my core values and what is truly important to me. My values are based on simple truths, kindness, and thoughtfulness and to live an authentic life. I surround myself with like-minded people which are integral to my happiness.
There was one thing missing and that was to identify and live my purpose. Once I embraced this purpose I needed to have faith in myself and the universe. The universe gives us what we need and when we need it. It teaches us lessons that are meant to be learned.
The curious thing is that I’ve subconsciously always known what my purpose is and what I wanted. The difference now is that I live with intention and open to receive the outputs that inevitably reward us.
This journey is far from over but now my path is paved with my personal values and unobstructed by my purpose. The road is secured with my intention and I can see the horizon with my unwavering belief in the universe. This makes me happy!
This is me being on top and I love how it feels.
Be Mindful Be Motivated Be Memorable
I Like It Hard
I enjoy being challenged!
Today I woke up knowing that we were going to do role play at school practicing cold calling. I’m not sure I know anyone that loves this. Before getting out of bed I role played a few scenarios in my head of faking my death, calling in “sick”, leaving the country all in trying to avoid this exercise. Driving to Sandler I honestly thought about turning around at least 5 times but for anyone that knows me knows I love a challenge. I parked my car, bought a chai and marched straight into the classroom with other sales professionals likely having the same thoughts.
We all take turns in mini-groups coaching and practising with one another and everyone gets a turn at being the “sales rep”. Each time I do this I realize that you just have to jump in, take your time and enjoy the process. After my turn was over I realized it wasn’t as bad as anticipated. Working with people that support one another defuses the fear of looking or sounding silly. Throwing yourself into these scenarios is when we learn something about ourselves and the topic at hand.
Every time I find myself in a hard situation riddled with fear Ithink to a time when I failed miserably and realized that I have not. Somehow we get through these pesky challenges that we put ourselves into or the ones life throws us. I’m not perfect but I get through all of life’s trials whether I worry or not, whether I think I can or can’t and/or paralyzed by fear. Life is hard however life is wonderful when you live in the moment and embrace all that it has to offer. Knowing that we all face challenges and by tackling hurdles as they arise gives us confidence and strength. This is why I like it hard.
Overcoming hardship helps me realize that I have the strength to face daily challenges, gives me the courage to move forward and find comfort in my experience.
Today I can put another checkmark on my “I did it” list!
Accepting challenges is not a skill, it’s an attitude.
Be mindful. Be motivated. Be Memorable
A Tug and a Pull
Sometimes we need a gentle reminder from those around us to stretch ourselves further.
Last month I was brunching with friends and someone asked why I have not been contributing to my blog. Carlene Timmers of Carlene in the City reminded me that I have a wonderful network that might just love to see what I have to share. I was delighted with this comment and asked myself the same question.
It was fear!
For some time now I’ve wanted to explore my creative side by contributing to a blog. In my opinion, doing this exposes myself and forces transparency. I submitted my first blog entry 14 months ago and I have to admit, pressing the publish button left me vulnerable and scared. I also shared the link on Facebook, so there was no turning back. It felt right, I felt good and I received feedback right away.
Some of the feedback I received was not all positive, someone had questioned the content I shared and for some reason this left me feeling insecure, scared of being exposed. It wasn’t even criticism, just an observation, so why did I feel so insecure?
This last year has been one of great learning. I’ve become stronger when it comes to believing in myself, being intentional and following my intuition. I have been attending courses this year with Hamish Knox at Sandler and he is responsible for my increasing self-belief. Hamish recently shared an article called “Harnessing the Law of Cause and Effect”. The article is about, thoughts are things stating the “power of the subconscious being the reality that we reap the fruit of every day.” It says, “You are who you have programmed to be by the faith or fear that has been planted in your thinking mind. In practical application, the effect of wrong thinking can be self-limiting in your quest for personal and business excellence.” I had not been harnessing my power by my limiting self-beliefs.
I want to be fearless and choose excellence. I don’t want to be paralyzed by fear. I realized that I want to be exposed. Exposed to all the things I want to share. I have committed to positive affirmation along with gratitude exercises which I practice each day. Plus, not letting my self-talk rule my desire to push forward and execute my goals and dreams for future.
I need to be very clear on what those dreams and goals are. I have always had the drive and ambition but the thing I was lacking was a clear output or vision. In December I designed a vision board out of magazine pictures, again with the very clever and talented Hamish Knox. This exercise allowed me to identify what is important now and where I want to go.
I am inspired by the wisdom and teaching that I received and supported by the people who care about me. A special thanks to Carlene at Carlene in the City for reminding me of my goal and challenging me to push forward.
I just needed a tug in the right direction and to be pulled back into believing in myself.
What do you need to push forward? I’d love to hear from you.
Please reach out to me if you need assistance as I would like to pay it forward.
Maria Martiniello
Be mindful. Be motivated. Be memorable
MM’s thought of the day: Choose friends that have the same values and beliefs as you do. Be around people who support and love you.
I’ve been wanting to write a blog for some time now. There never seems to be enough time in our busy days so we tend to ignore the thing that’s most important .. YOU! So this weekend I am taking the time to do exactly that and lo and behold I have my first post.
This weekend is the the celebration of me! On the month of my birthday I have been known to take the time and celebrate me! I plan my own party, I take a special time out to relax and I take the time to reflect on how my life has been treating me so far.
So where am I? On my 48th year I find myself single, I have a great job, live in a wonderful place and part of town, I have great friends and I don’t long for much. I should be ecstatic!
Most of us ask ourselves “what is enough?” What is enough? That I’m still exploring and will continue to do so.
I do take the time to do gratitude exercises every morning. I am grateful for being quasi healthy (I don’t exercise nearly enough), I am safe, warm, food in my belly, enjoy ridicules amounts of wine, I am capable or learning and growing, I have friends that love and care for me, a ridiculously lovely fur baby named Roo, a good job, money in the bank, saving for RRSP’s, etc., etc. I should be over the moon but I do long for more but what is the more?
This blog will explore my more and will hopefully be thought provoking for those who are also exploring their more! Let’s take this journey together.
MM’s thought of the day: make every minute count and end your day with no regrets. Live the way you want to live, ensure that if this was your last day that those you love know that they are loved. Saying I love you doesn’t cost a penny or hurt anyone’s feelings. Be memorable by never being afraid to share love and let those around you know how you feel about them. Remember that you always should and need to start with loving yourself!
Be Memorable 