It’s been two weeks since my mom passed. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster. I’m sad, tired and even a bit angry but having spent some time with my brothers and their families it had me laughing, smiling and happy crying.  

When you lose someone, it tends to make us reflect on what’s important and how you might leave a mark in this world or wonder if that matters.  The crazy thing about losing someone is the pure fact that one day that person is here in the flesh, then poof, gone.  Memories are everlasting, and we should hang on to them as one can vanish from your life in a blink of an eye.  We lose people every day not only to death but through divorce or breakups, friendships that end, colleagues changing jobs, people moving away or perhaps some even running away.  Either way, people come and go, but what is ongoing is how they make you feel or maybe something they may have taught you.  Something that you can pass along to another for a moment or a lifetime.  

One of my mother’s favourite phrases was “nothing you can do.” She was on to something by teaching me perhaps of letting things go that you can’t change.  No need to worry about things you have no control over.  I will remind myself often to just be.  I could just be with my mother, and when I was, I often felt ‘normal’. Normal in the sense that being in one’s presence who loves you unconditionally reminds you that nothing else does matters.  Not what car you drive, or how big your house is, how much pressure you feel at work or who’s doing what on social media.  None of that matters.  What matters is feeling loved and loving another without even saying a word.  This is what leaves a mark on lives!

I loved being at my mom’s house and taking a nap.  It was the best feeling even as a full-grown adult.  If I dozed off while my mom was crocheting or watching TV, it made me feel safe and at home.  As parents age, we sometimes wonder who is taking care of whom, but mom’s look after you. Moms try to look after your heart, and you can tell how they feel in their warm smiles, kind eyes or just a little hug that says so much but with few words.  It came to me recently how much a hug can do for someone.  It makes you feel safe and protected.  There is no denying that feeling of warmth and caring. 

A simple hug can put the normal back in your day.  A good snugglefest with someone can ease your heart’s pain if it’s only for just one second.  Like a mother’s love, there are no words required.  Like the feeling of dozing off on your mother’s couch, a warm hug cloaks you from the discomfort we sometimes get from this world.  Hugs are healing.

In today’s COVID space, hugs are no longer a safe practise with some, but I’ve come to realize how robbed we are of this comfort and how much as humans we need this physical contact. 

Find someone in your bubble that you can hug or touch. Spend time with your parents and loved ones.  Remember that you can make a difference in someone’s day by making them feel normal or special.  Embrace being hugged when you can and let it linger.  Then hug and embrace your day with a little more fervor and positivity.